Cambodia, so far.

That is me, feeding an elephant outside of the Royal Palace in Phnom Penh.

Two days ago we arrived in the capital of Cambodia: Phnom Penh. 

Automatically we were greeted with pure chaos: the roads here with no signs and the rules seeming to just be: "if you can go, go!" Massive amounts of people on the road; the most I've seen. I mean, there were five guys on a single motorbike at one point. 

Cars, tuk tuks, motorbikes, and bicycles just go-doesn't matter what side of the street. Although, amidst this chaos they seem to  have a system down.

A bit into our drive from the airport to an area with guesthouses, Becca said: "Maybe we should rent a motorbike" and as she said that we passed an accident.Not sure what had happened, but he was in the road and his foot was bloody. It looked as if 

something had flown into his foot.  Thankfully, he wasn't seriously injured, and nobody else was so it wasn't that bad. But upon that I looked to her and said: "Or not."

 After we arrived in the area where our guest house is, we settled in and made plans for the next day. Grabbed some dinner and decided to go play pool. We met even more people from Denmark; a group of three boys and went off with them to another bar to play more pool. Then to check out another bar and so on. Eventually it was time to call it a night, and that we did.

  

Yesterday we had a driver, Lo, take us to The National Museum, Tuol Sleng Museum, and the Royal Palace. We broke the sights up into two days, and had wanted to to Tuol Sleng with the Killing Fields today. I am glad we decided to go to Tuol Sleng yesterday. Both the T.S. and The Killing Fields would have been far too much.

So first we went to the National Museum, which was very nice. It was filled with stone carvings and other artifacts dating back to the 8th century! It was amazing to see the craftwork. How 

detailed and beautiful the pieces that were preserved, were. Just incredible stuff. We

 weren't allowed to take pictures inside, though. 

After that, because the Royal Palace was closed during the hottest part of the day we headed to Tuol Sleng.

It was horrible.

For those of you that don't know, ONLY 30 years ago, Cambodia went through a horrible civil war which culminated in the 

genocidal rule of the Khmer Rouge. Over 3

 million Cambodian citizens were brutally murdered from 1975-1979. 6 American journalists, 1 Australian, and 3 Europeans, as well. 

There were rooms and rooms of photos of people 

such as this one; of those that were unjustifiably murdered by

 the Khmer Rouge. This photo is of the wife and baby of a government official; we also saw photos of the wife sitting in an

 electric chair-baby in hands. Horrible.

The Khmer Rouge actually took over the ENTIRE city of Phnom Penh. Last night we watched a movie about the war, and had already been to the prison at that point. So today, driving through this city: this country's capital which only 30 years ago was abandoned and filled with

 the Pol Pot regime and screams of pain was really intense. To realize that a lot of the people around me were alive then, experienced the war...and to be an American driving through their streets. I began to feel dirty, more so than I have before.

Usually, I feel terribly guilty for having the life I have when I see the people here. You feel bad for having a digital camera and for caring about things like how your body looks in a dress or something when you see all these bare footed children and people around that have nothing. They are concerned with feeding themselves. It makes you feel so bad. And I'm a pretty conscious person back home when it comes to being grateful for everything I have been given; but nonetheless you feel badly. But after going to S-21, after learning about what happened here...I was not proud to be an American. I do, however, feel lucky to be one.

Toul Sleng is also known as S-21 (Security Prison 21). In 1975, Pol Pot's security forces turned a school into this prison which was the largest center of detention and torture in the country. Almost everyone here was executed at the Killing Fields. It was absolutely awful to see. There were rooms with just a single rusty bed, and a black and white photo behind it taken before when there were dead bodies tied up and tortured here.

Pol Pot, first, captured all the

 intellectuals in the capital and surrounding area because it did not want them to undermine its rule. So all the government officials and their entire families were sent there to be tortured and then executed.

We walked around the prison, saw the small cells they lived in. And saw the pictures of all those that were detained. Women, children, babies, and men. It was really intense.

After being there we moved on to the Royal Palace. What a contrast in an afternoon.
The palace is huge, and has a small replica of Angkor Wat. It's quite beautiful.

After that we got lunch and eventually headed back to our guest house (Room 202 what!) and decided to see the Killing Fields and the market today and then head off to Siem Reap.
Today sealed the deal for me: Phnom Phen has been the most emotionally disturbing place for me, so far.

On our way to the Killing Fields I saw pieces of a bike in the road ahead. Then crowds of people on each side of the street and as we approached I saw the body of a man, surrounded by the remnants of his motor bike. He was just laying in the middle of the street. Dying.

Part of his face was torn open and there was a huge stream of blood pouring from his head into the road. Everyone around just stood there, lots of people on cell phones, calling for help.

I can pray that he survived: but I don't think he did.

I didn't even know how to react. I don't know how to react. It was just this...I saw somebody in the road, DYING. And there was nothing I could do. I couldn't call for help. I couldn't stop our driver to wait there and make sure he got help. I couldn't stare too long because it was too disturbing, and yet the image is in my mind.

A few minutes later there we were: at The Killing Fields.This is where the Pol Pot took the

 victims from S-21 and murdered them. In 1988 they built a stupa (the image to your left)to honor the victims, and in that stupa, sits over 9,000 skulls. 17 levels. The top levels are of the bones of peoples bodies, the bottom levels are all of skulls, and below that some of their clothes.

We hired a guide to take us and two others around the fields. It was horrible. As you walk you can see clothes and bones coming up from the ground-as the rain falls and the Mekong River pours over, more graves have been discovered over the years.

 

There was a mass grave with over 100 women and children next to a tree that they used to murder the babies. The Pol Pot didn't use bullets because they were to expensive, so often they would use farm tools or bamboo sticks and beat people in the heads and then bury them alive. Or, especially if it was a soldier which betrayed them, when Palm trees are young their leaves are sharp and they would use those, or an axe to slowly decapitate people. When it came to the babies...they would hold them by their feet and smash their heads against a tree. 

The photo below is of teeth of victims still laying in the fields. It's horrifying. You are walking over land in which people were brutally murdered on less than 40 years ago.

It was absolutely horrible. And to realize that this happened in 1975 really upset me. I mean, genocide is still a huge problem now. And I wonder, why? Why do we do this to one another? And then the

 questions come in: Can we do anything? Why doesn't the US do something? yada yada and then all the complicated answers and my head spins with anger that people are capable of such hatred.
We didn't learn much about this in school, by the way. We don't learn much about the horrible things that have been, and are, happening around the world like this and it's not right. People need to know that genocide did not die with Hitler.

We finally left after being surrounded by a group of kids begging for money.
Everywhere you go in Cambodia you are faced with beggars. Worse than anywhere else I have been.

After the Killing Fields we headed to the market here. It was huge and had tons and tons and tons of stuff-I got Adrianna and Brianna a little something as well as myself. :)

After that we headed back to the River to walk a bit and get some lunch. More beggars approached us and I finally gave in to one man. It looked as if the entire left side of his face was nothing more than a massive, massive, tumor.
I wish I could give to all the children and all the people I see whom have deformities; but I can't. And this man, I know people probably don't give to him because of how frightening he is at first glance, so I gave him some money and just thanked the universe for providing me with my health, and my mother, and my friends and asked that the blessings continue and those I love are always safe from these sorts of things.

Tomorrow we leave for Siem Reap: which should be incredible! We will spend 3 days exploring Angkor Wat before flying off to the beaches of Bali.

I can't believe I come home in 13 days! Wow. My eyes have certainly seen more than I could have imagined already. I can't begin to even tell you how much these past two days alone, on top of being in Thailand and Laos, has affected me and changed the way I see things.

Love you all! Miss you. See you very soon!